Be brave, cook a paella!

One of the biggest nightmares for foreign residents in Spain is when you get lumbered into inviting people round for a paella. It doesn't usually matter how good the paella is, as most Brits haven't a clue about how it is supposed to turn out. The problem arises when Spanish friends come and especially if they are Valencians. Definitions of a paella vary but even the most forgiving of Spaniards will find it hard to swallow a paella made with carrots and Frankfurter sausages with canned marrowfat peas (which I was given once by a friend of mine). It can be quite a humiliating experience when they leave most of it on the plate and then say, lying through their teeth, "muy buena" just not to spoil the party. There are as many types of paella as there are Spanish cooks but certain ingredients are a no!no!, like carrots and marrowfat peas.

Making a duff paella happened to me once, but on a far grander scale, when I was asked to do paellas for a wedding for about 60 to 70 guests, some of whom were Spanish. I had the help of Esther, my trusted kitchen goffer from Tollos, who's made so many paellas she could do them in her sleep. But on this occasion things didn't quite go to plan. We set up two large paella pans outside, one for meat and the other for fish and seafood. The minute we tried to light the gas the wind started up and it kept going out. Being in a rush we brought the damn pans inside to a rather overcrowded barbeque area where all the food and drink was on display and there wasn't even room to swing a cat, not that cat was on the menu that day. With all the hullaballoo serving starters, the poor paellas got slightly forgotten about, one turned out mushy and the other uncooked. You could say that on average Esther and I got it just right. Luckily for us not many of the guests tried the rice since they were all stuffed with the hors d'oeuvres, tapas and salads beforehand. Those that did were probably too far gone with the cava to notice what an embarrassing affair the whole experience was for us. Esther vowed she never make another paella for the public again and it has taken me quite a few years to get over the trauma. It is only recently that I've decided to try my hand again.

A Valencian friend has introduced me to 'arroz meloso' and 'arroz caldoso', which, in my opinion, are far superior dishes to the paella. Not only do they taste better they are more easily digested and can even be eaten at night! Don't tell a Spaniard you eat rice at night or he may call the psychiatrist to have you certified. But the best thing of all is that they are so much easier to cook. With the paella you have to be on top of things throughout the process. How to make the 'sofrito', when to add the rice, when to add the stock, even how to make the right stock for the right paella. And the hardest bit of all, when the bloody thing is ready to eat. The whole thing is a enough to make you want to swear at the person who suggested to you should do the impossible thing in the first place.

These rice dishes are so easy to prepare, just fry up a few ingredients, add the stock , boil for a while then add the rice. If you put enough liquid in , it's meloso (smooth and creamy), if you put in too much then it's caldoso (broth or soupy).

A friend of mine from Alcoy, Lolo, has just published a book about his restaurant Lolo (yeah! really original name). He has been making rice dishes for the last 30 years. Some of his most popular recipes are in the book and I tried one the other day. You can see the result in the picture above.

RECIPE: ARROZ CON COSTILLAS Y MORCILLAS

200g pork ribs

2 black sausages (morcillas)

2 artichokes (all outer leaves removed, top half discarded)

1/2 small cauliflower(cut into florets)

1 large ripe tomato (grated)

2 garlic cloves (smashed and chopped)

200g cooked chickpeas

5 handfuls of paella rice

500ml chicken stock

500ml water

saffron or 1/2 pkt 'Paellera' colouring

METHOD

Gently heat an deep earthenware dish on the hob, adding about 4 tbs of olive oil, add the ribs and fry them up until really brown, about 15 mins, turning up the heat to medium after 5 mins. Add the sliced artichokes and the cauliflower and fry for a further 5 mins. Put in the tomato and the garlic and the chickpeas with the colouring and cook for 5 mins more. Pour in the boiling stock and water and cook for at least 15 mins more before you add the rice. Check the seasoning. It has to be just slightly too salty for the rice to come out 'sabroso'. Cover with a lid. Put the sliced morcilla on top of the rice for the last 5 mins to let it cook through. Turn off the heat and allow the dish to rest for 5 mins. Serves 4

Remember, if the rice dries out too quick just add more hot water.

You are in a win/win situation here. Too dry, it's paella, fairly wet, it's meloso, too wet, it's caldoso. Your Spanish neighbours will be really impressed. You can't lose with these rice dishes and they are wonderfully delicious, cheap and nutritious. God! It's nearly midnight and I am getting a little peckish, fancy a plate of rice anyone?